It's an old unfriendly feeling. There has been a rejection, not because of lack of talent but because of what happened between three women in a trapped terrible situation.
K had an appointment with a new name in her life. Although she was not too excited about it, she wanted to give it a shot. Hope is probably her dirtiest addiction. Things were alright till she faced someone she would not care to otherwise. It was a name from her past and what had trespassed between them went from brilliant to bitter. There were never any direct confrontations, no across the table talks. There were silent negotiations. It was vital that they gradually erase each other from their phones, their social networking friend's lists. No connection ever to be retained.
K knew that if the three women crossed each other again they would not want to stand in the same room, or be seen in the same image or be spoken of in the same sentence. Each one had taken a bad decision, each betrayed the other. Their biggest mistake was to trust each other. K had never regretted standing by the other when the hills were falling - it came as a horrible lesson to know that she was the only one buried under that load.
Suddenly facing her came as a happy and nasty surprise. Happy coz she had moved on, nasty coz there was a clear sense of 'we can't function together'. After crossing her and exchanging plastic hugs, K knew she had wasted her time. The personal would get an upper hand over the professional. Nothing would come out of this, the sad part was that she wanted something out of it. Maybe a way to turn around and say - "If I can fall, I can devil dammed rise!"
For two days, she speculated that hesitant answer, which she knew was a negation. When she heard it, she let out a paradoxical sigh - of sadness and relief.
Somethings are best buried and some people best avoided.
