or should I call it numb skull or silent degeneration of all intellectual faculties? I do not know. 'Unsure' seems to be my favorite word. It's not a word that I like - however, it is a 'safe' word. Just like the word 'slave or addict' - it's usage automatically shifts the burden of responsibility and after math on to the perpetrator.
Language seems bizarre to me now - it's a feeling that occurs from an excessive high or from passive nothingness.
On a different note, K had a decent discussion with Wasabi few days ago, related to ideology and politics. Capitalism definitely gets brownie points from both of them but an inflexible stand on the same somewhere pinches her. It's not mandatory to be like grass but is it not better to be open to ideas? And it seemed too demanding for the otherwise open - minded Wasabi. (For a very ridiculous reason K quoted Tom Ford while discussing character balance, stereotypes and prejudice complex with him.) However what K found incredibly juvenile, was Wasabi's interest in sexual experimentation, although he sounded pretty averse to the same - but a talk to that seemed to satisfy some part of his voyeur self.
Day 2, K received a scarp by Wasabi's friend on her 'thanking her god', and he promptly remarked that Richard Dwakins would be unhappy! People who've read his work have often confirmed themselves as atheists. K reverted that she was unable to bow down to some one's line of thought. She had finally found a way and words to appropriate her thoughts. K had silently stood by herself against propagators of Eliot's Individual talent and she would not bend to this ethologist's delusion of god.
What K realized in this entire dialogue was a certain amount of comfort that people seek in propagated ideas. Dichotomies can not exist claims Rand, K agrees with her. However, when you check your premise, you know that knowledge is not in 'this vs that' it's often in the existence of multiples. You choose your path only after that awareness.
Wasabi has chosen his, and K still lives with Dr. Faust's greed. Choosing, seems to bind her into intellectual loyalty whose destination is intellectual slavery.
For now, if wind, earth, fire, water can co-exist, then so can god, devil, Darwin's monkey and Dwakins!
