Aug 11, 2008

Desensitized

...me.

Being physically unwell - makes me needy, cranky and cold. Being mentally unwell - makes me... let's not bother.

scene
: morning, rain, me walking out of Mahim station. a horse.
K (aside): - a horse?. OMG, he's wounded, look at his legs, the blood's oozing out. Where is his owner? I should call SPCA. Is the lady standing there going to be of any help? Why are these people just looking at the horse - idiots. Hey his feet are getting wobbly, is he going to sit. Is he left to die?

What does K do?
She walks away. She does not turn around. Nope. Not even once. No voyeuristic pleasurez. Nope.

scene:
after reaching the crossing, K turns to look for vehicles that can blow her up. However , the road is empty.
K (aside): Let the horse die. I wish it dies, right now. How cruel could you be? You should call for rescue. How is the hospital going to be? Wet, unclean, dark, dingy, white walls or blue? terracotta or marble tiles? What will they do to him? What if it is in his fate to die lonely - on a humanly crowded, spit over, rainy street?

K enters the office building, follows a woman with long silky hair (whore) and enters the elevator with her. They smile, she reaches her floor, walks in through the glass doors - meets an annoying colleague (sipping lime tea in a large mug that can pass off as a soup bowl), who exclaims that she isn't drenched! (Oh what a wish he has, filthy scoundrel.) Moves to her seat - forgets to wish her colleague 'happy birthday' till his birthday card arrives and then hits WORK ONLY button. She spends her day over her long fulfilled deadlines = wastrel day = headache, terribly written Photokina piece, irritated over the ever-busy-designer and the zero-prompt-boss.

K, in more ways than one, hates herself but pretends that she is still her favorite person.
K is a fool.