Random Impressions of past moments

Its been a wild time since Enlightened came in, i have discovered certain truths about myself - some that i already knew and some that weren't so apparent. Like the drama king, he makes these one-line comments that hit you straight in the third eye. With Drama king, they are unintentional but Enlightened uses them at the right moment and with the right force. There was a flash when i almost jaw dropped as to how could this guy figure things out with such clarity of truth? I am super amazed. As he flew out today morning - he left me too many things to cherish. the madness, the impulse, the wisdom, the music (Bjork, tool, smiths) and half a dozen audiobooks.

Black Pearl smsed me on Fri night - i was amidst a work event and by the time i checked my phone i realised it was an 'upset head's' love message. Knowing him - i was sure he was either miserable, drunk angry or suicidal. So i called, messaged and called again - say like 30 times! I was worried sick and praying that he doesn't do anything foolish. Sat morn i get a call - “hey babes, whats wrong with you?” i wanted to crawl through the phone lines and smack him to death. (That moment i didn't regret the amount i used to beat him up.) He so deserved it - i spent the night thinking absolute rubbish, i was frantic and cursed myself for erasing his home number. I was on the verge of breaking down into tears; and our man put his phone on silent and dozed off - after writing an SMS that would make every sane person(who knew him) worry hell over.

The early morning conversation was similar to the one we used to have when we were together, the same babble - he teasing me over my fantastic- inclined mind and me cursing him to no end for straining my nerves. We were so over and so happy - and that moment i knew the ultimate answer to the question raised by zillion people. Why did you break up? Because it was the best thing to do.

Mush (the otherwise gentleman, who i have unfairly been accused of turning into a beastly disaster) emailed a one liner on Sunday “I still love you bitch, what are you going to do about that?” I replied, “Nothing”. There were a million things I'd say but i was too exhausted from the last night's drama - i didn't need this. I didn't need two exes telling me how much they love me from continents away. And with Mush, i was done away with six years ago.

Today i receive another email from him, “Tamburlaine can burn the city for Zenocrate, but he can't heal the stab wound, can he? How should you escape with 'nothing', my little soul thief?”

I haven't replied, i wont. Its time for silence to takeover. (ps. I hate his gall, his intellect, this counter-questioning and his hands.) I am deeply grateful that we live in a postmorden world that stresses on women's emancipation.

Mother-in-law (MIL) is back in India for a vacation, she called last evening and i was almost out of breath, confirming whether it was really her. So now am dying to meet her. There is so much to listen to, so much to tell. I am waiting to hug her, and tell her that she was missed. Her gaalis were missed. Today shall be the day!

Series of dissapointments

Starting with not being able to write about Vogue, searching for the right words to describe each piece, feels unnaturally difficult... so does writing for CPC, but i want to be 1000% right with CPC- i have to be flawless and there is no other way it will be!

My beloved clutch is probably travelling in a slow train and therefore taking so long to come back to mommy. I miss you baby. In my agony i forgot that there were enough valuables in there- jeweller's bill, hard cash, my Id and quarterly, my driving licence (not that i drive), my business card, debit cards, my imp numbers diary, my pin number, stash of my passport size photos.... all of that will have to replenished.... clutchy baby come back now!


The train journey was very good, I was determined to have a place to sit and i got one instantly- for a change i was stared at by a chic looking funny woman (she was dressed in light green corporate top, brown checked khadi feeling semi-formal trousers, witch-point, short heel purple sued with satin bow shoes and a big rectangular beige Birkin bag. I was finishing my chanting (she stared at me as i do at women listening to ipod bhajans) and then pulled out my Everyone Worth Knowing copy, the mocking smile on her face clearly called me 'pseudo, hypocritical and shallow' too bad coz i think i am none of those. i almost wanted to explain but i looked up and my left eyebrow twitched out of habit and her smile faded... NO i didn't like the scene. Went back to reading and didn't realise when she got off the train.

Had to write a long letter to Style Icon- i promised him and didn't write (i am ashamed).

Had to collect my solitaire (my birthday gift to myself) but am behaving lackadaisical, dependant and for some reason unsure. I want it, its mine and it brings me infinite joy!

Saw OSO, Sawariyan and Jonny Gaddar and all of them were silly, floppy and total turn offs. They were such a big let down- so many hours of nonsense from intelligent people. Worse, the Rj's aren't being honest - film critics Taran Adarsh and Mayank Shekhar minced words only because the banners are too big. SAY THAT THE FILMS ARE TRASH!

Blatantly lied n bunked dinner on Sunday nigh, coz i am unhappy with the wise capitalist and myself. I said things that i shouldn't have to child mom and for some reason i think WC knows- sure she is pissed and not showing it. So i bunked her dinner party- i didn't want to feed myself and don't like the restaurant she does and am not really fond of the people she invited, esp old idiot. I also made snide remarks at night when Loud mouth gave me full dope on who, what, how, when. I don't like anything about myself when i am in the 'pussy me' mood.

Monday morn, i find out that my DnG face-cover dark glasses r broken at the rim. It felt like a stab, i shrieked, tore my hair and gave multiple bad words in my head before i smiled and mockingly said Perfect, before putting them back. No clue how they cracked (the case is big, sturdy and they never come out of it). Luckily only the frame is damaged, so there go my hard earned thousands (haven't preserved the bill).

Walked into office and realised stuff is undone, have to edit my own article and no clue what to crop.

My HR sent thought for the day- "If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."- Mary Engelbreit. Yes, it is helping me recover, but what really gave me the confidence was Diana's tagline - LIFE WANTS ME!-- what a wonderful thing to say!

Wallah! Mawha, mawha, mawha!