Order and Outcome of an Arrangement

In K's opinion, people attend engagements and weddings not for the solemnity of the occasion but to critically appreciate the arrangement.

Subjective emotions spurt at every 'and he's chosen her as a life partner'? The her said with much dislike and repel. Well, when K was neutral (in her subdued sarcastic way), Wise capitalist and Chameleon went all the way to disclose their judgment of Style Icon's bride to be. Childmom kept mum, and the 'eternal objective moral support' that he is, the unfledged loudmouth was 'supportive.' A unanimous opinion of the wise was, that he lacked foresight.

K was happy that the Style Icon was happy, the quality of what made him happy mattered little. It is, again, very subjective.

In a quite conversation with Childmom, K recalled a chat with the meat eater, uber chic, and pretentiously desi Wasabi, where he was disappointed with a lady he met and while voicing this with mirth and cunning eloquence - he was honest enough to admit that the criticism of her traits were only because he genuinely did not like her. If he had; the mannerisms and the thriftiness would have been overlooked generously. All to end up falling in love with a Jain vegan!

And K realized that YES, That's what it is! Like in a love marriage or an arranged - you just like a person and when you do - all the barriers that you had wisely chosen to sift out the unwanted disappear. Age, profession, interests, food habits, qualification, finance, intellect - na, none of them hold much good. There will be more sly ways in which you would want to show how wonderful the new found soul mate is, how most appropriate the decision.

I sometimes do not believe that arranged marriages are thoughtful barters as they claim to be, at least, 21st century marriages aren't! I like this element of careless love, the eye locks, the quite hand holding (beneath a shawl)... and the stolen moments/ kisses in between work.

Love can never be arranged - it's in a moment and it can not be learned; it is not a habit, an ability or an acquired skill. It does not come with time, with two people who have chosen to live comfortably together under favorable stars.

Style Icon's marriage in my opinion is more love than arranged. And I like the sound of it!

Heat - city

It feels like the devil swallowed this city whole! The muck of sweat the stink of stress will eventually claim the mind.

I await the nights of many waxing moons and the pull out my hand for a few drops of dark drizzle.

Polyester Courage

Sometime, almost a month ago, K finally amputated her dead extension. She had let it be as it had no ill effects on her daily chores, what it impacted was a small part of her mind that insisted on caging memories. Red, pungent, languidly spicy memories.

6:45pm, Carter Road. breeze wafting through our hair, aiding to cool off the sticky shower wetness. The sea across signaling a late sunset. A table in the corner, distancing itself from hand held lovers with permanent smiles; afraid of self cynicism and vicarious pleasures. A phone call. A 'we will talk later' reply. A 25 sec eye contact and the phone was handed over. Ten mins later a firm, harsh but polite message was sent. All this amongst chattering, doughnut nibbling, leg pulling, coffee sipping and dissecting Tommy Hilfiger's men's casuals.

It wasn't K, could have never been her. It was Oyster seeker. It was K's present asking her past to bugger off.

An sms to Black Pearl disposed everything that K had held into her. Dispossessing herself from his memory was something that she could never get herself to word. Now it was said, like a sign on a billboard across the western express highway.

" He used to be handsome to eyes that saw more than what appeared to be.
He used to be 'princess Sophia' to arms that felt the warmth of his heart.
He used to have potential to a mind that saw his talent.
He used to be a memory of places, people and funny incidents.
He used to be a name, then an acronym, then a trait.
He used to be a random sms, a phone call from a deleted number
He just used to be .... "

In Conversation

ON a really dead day K meets wasabi online, not expecting to have any soul searching conversations which are by far limited to 'none', she does what one must do in a circular movement of time. Here's the out come* -
Note: If you read carefully, it is very very spiritual, almost leads to the seed of the angst, a woman's angst, K's angst !


Wasabi: ?

31 minutes

8:16 PM me: hi

was away

8:17 PM Wasabi: mmmm hmmmm

kai chalu aahe

5 minutes

8:22 PM me: nothing....

8:23 PM how's u been?

8:24 PM Wasabi: not too shabby...how about yourself?

me: what's with the marathi font?

Wasabi : getting back to my village roots

8:26 PM so you're not hooked up as yet?

13 minutes

8:39 PM me: lol, then you should re-locate!

to the roots!

8:40 PM Wasabi: yeah....i don't know if i'll fit in my dhoti though

8:41 PM me: it's free flowing material, sure you would.

8:42 PM Wasabi: are there designer dhotis in India now....i'll be up for it if Ralph Lauren has gotten into the dhoti market

23 minutes

9:06 PM me: Ralph Lauren wouldn't even know how to drape one!

9:07 PM but i guess Gaurav Gupta & Raghavendra Rathod have come up with some really interesting dhoti and cropped jacket drapes on dhoti and kurtas.

9:08 PM Wasabi: damn.....i'll be a sexy villager then

me: you can try those - but i do not think your inclinations are serious --- you better stick to your trousers and steak!

9:09 PM Wasabi: so tell me about your life -- i thought you would have been married by now

9:10 PM me: no ..

i do not want a village or pseudo Indian firang idiot

Wasabi: whattt????

those are the best

9:12 PM me: I have come to believe that guys - under their very unthinking skin are drilled into treating the land and the lady as a mistress of roi (return on investment) and entertainment. what is more unforgiving is that they are unwilling to shed that skin!

9:13 PM Wasabi: whoa....that's deep

why do you think so much

:)

9:15 PM me: because I have a mind, duh, although i guess it may just give up and rust one day in the search for ignorant bliss.

9:16 PM Wasabi: hmmmmmm

9:17 PM me: I read a fat book long long ago

i think you should have to

too

would rather

9:18 PM Wasabi: i read book with pictures in it

me: it's called hitchikers guide to the galaxy

Wasabi: yeah i heard o fit

9:19 PM me: it is very insightful in quirky ways -

Wasabi: it's better than "atlas shrugged"?

:)

9:22 PM me: the architect of the world says to a mere mortal who has lost his way home and has gallivanted across the galaxy

Wasabi: aah

9:23 PM me: slartibartfast:I'd rather be happy than right on any given day.

9:24 PM however the objective right thwarts happiness

9:27 PM bolti band

?

Wasabi: too hi fi for me

:P

9:28 PM me: Sure- sometimes I think people should need a visa to walk into my life and talk to me....

or my likes

9:30 PM Wasabi: i think so

me: intellectual flippancy is a dastardly crime

Wasabi: damn....then i have been sentenced to death!!!

9:31 PM me: most likely you will, unless you say something intelligent in the next 10 seconds

Wasabi: that's too much pressure

me: You will thereby be hanged until declared dead!

* End part of this futile and fruitless conversation was duely discarded.

K misses someone terribly right now,she just can't figure out who!

Hilarious Truths

K in conversation with Oyster Seeker & childmom, for something so important as a life changing decision:

K : How's he?
O: LOLOLOLOL .... if you sigh louder, he'll blow away like a wilted leaf.
K: Okay, no jokes, Seriously man...
O: Okay, compare this - my penis has more girth than his forearms!
K: (Shell Shocked) whao... what? Hmm. NO. Do not repeat!
C: hey lead me into the conversation.
K: Na, nothing. I do not think it's a good idea. O says, the man in question is rather weak.

So much for political correctness and the ability to see the 'goodness within' and live with someone irrespective of how they appear.

Superficial me. This time, no apologies!

Comparative Happiness

Midnight is not an ungodly hour for a post like this to be written.

After a long and a little boring jaunt, K returned home - unhappy, unsatisfied, without income and without the consistent element of fun that this "K has to take a break from work - and its recession, so 'credit card burners' be dammed, it's worth it!"

Randomness apart, K missed a few things: Writing for sure. And interacting with quirky people, feeling divest of ideas and emotions.

What K has learnt yet again is :
~
Think, think carefully before you talk. K is cultivating this menial habit of 'do I need to respond?' before she actually does. The catalysts to this wise decision were the street smart Oyster Seekerand a proverb - 'wise men talk because they have to say something. Fools talk because they must say something!' - According to this one ' K's definietly the biggest fool ever alive on this planet!'
~

Why do we do this to us? Why do we trap ourselves with what is to be done - instead of what we'd like to do? K found an answer to this queasy question - it's just that we like to compare our happiness, just like our sorrows... and we do that often unconsciously, at least K did, till today.

To dissolve the abruptness, here's what happened. Three women got together - K, Childmom and funny face, and got along talking about their childhood memories and as Childmom regurgitated all her experiences with K and with the wise capitalist - it dawned on K's nimble skull that she was like those people you see in restaurants, the ones who look at another man's plate and say ' I'd like to have what he is having!' They rarely look at the menu card or contemplate on what they think would be the best for them. They just want to have what they think will provide pleasure to someone, in return having a fragile assurance of their happiness.

It was not a shocker, but more like a revelation....every buy, every attitude, every friend, every need was cross examined - and an hour later, K knows better. Or claims to know better.

Are some people born like this? What makes us become the way we are?

K's hunting for the answers, and instead what flashes by are all the mistakes that she made - personally, spiritually, professionally and emotionally. Mistakes that she thought would make her a happier person in comparison to someone she detested for being happy. Mistakes that she made in arrogance, mistakes that were a part of plain careless foolishness, mistakes made in greed of a part ignoring the whole....

This world is getting smaller and more networked each day - K has almost come to a full circle with surprised strangers linked to childhood friends. Lovers who she bloated over and now would not wish to even lay a fake claim to.

For everyone who is reading this - ' A lot of things in life are unwanted; a lot of mess can be avoided, if you just stop and think, think if it is worth the dammed trouble.'

The root to all this was a plain comparison of - 'If she is happy with 'xyz', then I have to have them in order to be so'..... a befitting mindset will lead you to a landmine that is presently K's skull.

Now the fun side of this ghastly slow work of local intelligence -

I can assure you that with all the bloodless blunders you make (now can we even count them?) - you are going to have a lifetime of adventure! The highs and the stomach churns is what you got to learn to deal with.

Remember only sinners can turn to saints who inevitably make history - neutrals only breath and cease to breath.