Why do sensible women fall for losers? What has flipped? I'd like to know. We all date losers and wanna bes' and mommy boys' but we don't marry them! Be it Hollywood (like in the pic) or the upper middle class in Bombay -across the globe or social strata, women still wish to marry a man standing steps lower. WHY?
Seven women in my life have and are marrying 'wrong men', it has shocked and shaken me since. I was talking to Demeter about the latest 'what the fuck is wrong with her!' and she asked me to define loser. That got me thinking- Loser is gender neutral, and for me defined when the couple does not match up to each others' caliber. Like Ice and Wise- capitalist couldn't have done better but Self-centered-leech, fruity, Demeter, Child mom, Prep-plastic, Lexicon could certainly have.
I no more know what to see in a man. The gold digger in me goes- bling, bling and more green bling, the idealist in me wants to marry the wind, the masochist in me- an MCP and the me in me wants to marry a better, male version of ME! (Could anyone have been more self-indulgent?) But i certainly don't want the partners my 'Quilt Dewellers' have chosen, i just can't stand a man without a spine or an identity!
Fruity, Lexicon, SCL, PP- their beaus are relocating, making adjustments and being super obedient; clearly they have the upper hand and i am very happy about it. But what is the fun of having an obvious upper hand that ur partner starts to look like a pet poodle, who no other chick will sigh over? Its silly but i can't respect a guy who doesn't know what he wants and doesn't have back up plans and is tying d knot- i disrespect the same in a woman.
I am very mozzarella over this and got so annoying that days ago, when on the phone i asked Loud mouth to re-reconfirm whether he really approved- he just yelled in, “how does it matter to you or me, its her life, her family and her joy!” and cut the call! Since then we haven't spoken on the topic. But I couldn resist and spoke to Child mom, she said that she liked him because fruity liked him (i said the same when i was asked - we are such lying bitches!), so i threw a twisted Q- What if i get someone like him? She shot back and said- “That is not your choice, U can't marry some idiot, i wont let you.” I was so relieved that i bear-hugged her.
But the real answer came form a man, not a woman- as i expected. Chameleon heard me talk sour and pulled me up saying that i was being gravely judgemental. He claimed a justification and I was, “Hmm, apart from the fact that i know and feel for them, i think they are ruining their chances a of a better life. They are getting married to guys who will not grow up and eventually they will have to shoulder everything of the guy. Love and being 'nice guy' is all good but when it comes to the jerks and perks in life- you need way more than that!”
He agreed and countered, “what makes you think it is a blind choice and not a conscious one? They are educated, smart, working, ambitious and beautiful women- if they decide to be with a guy not as half qualified as them, then maybe they want it that way. They want a guy they can mould, bend, mommy; they want to call the shots and the guy is fine with it. I don't think it is a compromise- its just reversal of power. The women have decided to take the lead-”
And will the man be happy, i ask? “Of course, a man's needs are limited and till he is not the one burning out - why would he crib? The problem will arise eventually, then he will take a call- but by then he will know his way around.” WOW. I was spell bound to even shake my head to that reply. I envy the fact that a men can think with such clarity and be so cool about it!
He isn't wrong, women are having their cake and eating it too- but would u want a trophy partner? I don't think i do. I want to walk hand in hand, a bird should marry the wind (and vice versa) not the fish in a pond. i want a partner that supplements 'us' not complements 'me'- like i would. It is a desire for a ridiculously idealistic partner, but as Child mom, Sunshine, Wise Capitalist and I say, “Why not?”.
