Some things are harder for us to get through than they are for others. And the reverse is true. We all have one tough iron nail that digs into our shoe soles. It is our loneliness, fear of judgement, commitment phobia, ideal partner, ‘the career’, titanium balls, abs, stilettos, sagging boobs, tiny penises, afraid to be happy only because autumn will follow.
They are hard things to accept and change. My lethargy and boredom are on that list. Apart from my dyscalculia; a phobia that school gave me. I hated that place, it took me 7 years to unlearn and clean up the mess in me that the institution created. I recollect that I was intelligent, I had the spark… I have a fucking 146 IQ and I never came in the first 20 in my class. Why? What pinched- doubt, fatigue, futility.
Getting over a good relationship to finding your soul; it’s a hard path. For some people, these things are unimaginably hard. Like getting a place of your own, like facing fears or simply holding a friend’s hand. I am waiting for that someone who is nursing his realities.
Or like me who is going for a walk after no-sleep night at 6:30 am only to come out with her stupid blog. the ornate cuts, curves be appreciated, rejected, ignored or ridiculed.
It’s a beautiful dawn, in beautiful Bombay and I know there are a handful of people who love me irrespective of how I judge myself. And thats my easiest back- up ever!
