The Week That Was-- 3

Habits. In a vague conversation with Childmom, I taught her some mean lines to combat mean people. This was regarding a certain-someone who at 50 has switched to a new career. Though her family is filled with medical professionals, the level of hygiene is below the lowest allowed in a government hospital. When i saw knotty-potty, my first response was to ask her to have a good scrub bath. And after i got her introduced to the wise-capitalist who needless to say, ripped apart her sense of everything including the air above her head. I would have dismissed it as Knotty-potty's foolishness but, she isn't I.

Childmom was hurt by the display of education that superseded everything else in the certain-someone. It took me a while to convince her that education should reflect in your civil and personal behaviour, more than in your paycheck and attributes. And standing by that rule, she was better off than her certain-someone counterpart.
It's easier to deal with a cleanliness OCD than with heaps of trash, dirt and moss. Yes, the certain-someone had moss growing on her bathroom floor.

That got me to the habit of ruminating on one topic; be it Octogenarian, childmom or anyone else-- they chew on the same stories over and over- the woulds and should's, if's and must's don't seem to leave their side. It infuriates me; as it is beyond me. How can u possibly give so much importance to some ill event that happened two decades ago? Or to some person who now rests in a grave? They are gone. Restructuring them will not bring them back. As my irritability grew - it occurred to me that my tolerance levels were on a slide ride. I have been ridiculing almost everything that is unimportant to me. Certain habits, people, traits are no more wanted around me and switching off seems to be the most difficult thing to do.

The fact that i am only answerable for my life seems to have left the center spot. I am looking for things in people, events etc.. that will be invisible from my life. In brief i am learning from the mistakes of everyone around me- to say it when you have to, for it to not resurrect itself years later as a regret. And that's exactly what i did. When at the Octogenarians, Pedo called and it was our deal to meet earlier but he couldn't make it so i structured my plan accordingly. Then he called and i wasn't feeling right about leaving her for a couple of hours to meet him; especially after he made the meeting confidential. It was lying- in the most juvenile way; but it was still lying. And knowing her- i would have to give her every detail of the why, how, when, what etc.... I stepped down and now am floating on the happy feeling of doing the right thing!

The Week That Was--2

Earlier sometime this week, at the lunchangular I came across Androgene (who is trying to lose weight) and Water Buffalo and Androgene's his talk about his handmaiden was hilarious. I mean who does so much of dim-wit thinking about people who have no direct, indirect or in any dammed direction to do anything with you. But to my absolute surprise, he went on and on about it, to the point that i wanted to make a nasty remark. Yes, I reigned myself- anger sublimated into laughter. Androgene in the best and the worst sense is amusing. His sense of humour, story narration techniques and incredibly funny usage of lexicon holds me enthralled in amusement.

Later in a conversation at the lunchangular, I voiced to Demeter (i had to choose btw saying it or suffering a headache)- that men have crossed the line- they are turning into women, unfortunately they aren't absorbing the best parts of her. Its more like 'I am a dick-bitch!' This has been a very frustrating observation for a long time now. So when i met parrot's beak, i comforted him with this thought, that he was probably the last of the 'men' i know.

That brings us to Parrot's beak; after my revenge on him- i have settled into the 'yes darling' mode. For some very vague reason, i don't want him as a friend but as an acquaintance. though i behave otherwise- leaving him a floating feeling of 'my best buddy and completely bankable' - i want and don't want that but i dont do anything about it either. (i think i am losing it.) Anyways the evening was fine, funny and all horny as expected- we discussed work, sex, women, orgies, aspirations and sex again. He has this funny way with my mother- i like that. I like it when my friends go all out to impress my mom or tease her. Its just the way i wanted it to be; it keeps her in good spirits and that keeps me happy. Well, maybe that's why i want Parrot's beak to be around.

Around Wed or Thursday, I met up with Sunshine for late night pasta - she has an Arabiata fixation. I met up at her place- there is something in that house, almost like a ghost. You can feel the energy pulsate through you, its extremely distracting and very comforting in ways. I have always been open with my dreams to Sunshine, she isn't a 'this wont happen' person; my decisions strengthen when i am with her. That comes to the reason why i met her-- ' I was pulled away from my determination. I was very hesitant to write my CPC essay. Something within me kept holding me back- like it is now. I kept saying to myself that i was reorganising my ideas etc... but i know its crap. I am just scared. Its pure fear of failure and i am not prepared to encounter that. For now, when i spoke to her- it just had to be a part of my priority. Something that i need as much as i need food to eat or as jigsaw's playmates needed life. [Why are we complacent? Why does comfort settle in so fast and why does it take long for commitment to do so? What is with habits, anyway?]

As we walked out of her place and hauled ourselves in the auto rickshaw to reach our dinner destination- we encountered an irrelevant fight between the auto guy and the car-wala. No one was hurt but the potential of being hurt was the cause of the fight. I waited 30 seconds flat, before asking the rick guy to get going and the second he opened his mouth to complain,' ' aabhi khatm karo' (Finish it now). Its history- he went away'. Sunshine stared at me and i went on a defence as to how- this cow-chewing nonsense really gets to me. I mean whats the point of it all? The moment is gone and u are screwing other moments, for whats not even there! like freaking writing this one down. Move on....

The Week That Was--1

I have been super distracted throughout last week. Too many questions racing through my mind, too many discoveries made, too many little but 'happy' decisions taken.

Dates, time and chronology are not my friends, as a media person- that should be my forte, but it just isn't! I think it has to do with the fact that i don't believe in the notion of time-- that makes my life easier and takes unwanted pressure off my mind. And also puts me into a fix every time i am asked 'When?'.

To begin with- weekend was spent with Octogenarian, it was a super warm experience; i often delay my visit to her because she turns to tell me things about the past that aren't pleasant. It was exactly what happened, she told me all about things and people who had not been on their better behaviour, as a result she had suffered. I was attempting to explain to her that it's history; and therefore didn't matter. She said something to the effect of 'not understanding, trauma, harrassment, etc" that made me feel like my heart was cast in iron- "my mother suffered a lot, she claimed. My mom says the same about her, and i say the same about my mom. But i know for sure my kids, nieces, nephews will never have a tear when, they recollect how amazing their parent's life was!' The very thought of being happy forever makes me proud of myself!

I bunked my School reunion, when Cow called, i lied to her that i had to get out- technically speaking, it wasn't a lie. But then again- I went there about two years ago and it was trash. I didn't like school- i was bored, the same happened at the party. I thought it was a waste of time, so i conveniently bunked this year and will do so i guess, forever!
I don't have any affinity to the school or that purple and beige building, or the teachers; the friends i have from school, stand independent from that land. I thought i should feel bad about it. But i don't, coz it reminds me of the best 7 years of my life to follow- College n Univ.
Nothing beats that!