I am so pissed... mostly with myself. I remember mom used to tell me that writing with an angry head is the worst thing to do - it also came as a hind sight revelation from my grandfather's letters to his brothers. Ours is a weird family tree - functional only because we are dysfunctional, insane in ways that allow sanity to breath in peace.
It's not everyday that i realise i have the quintessential Dadhe 'fuck you' spirit (most of the time, as B'abyite - i am least bothered) but sometimes people just get on my nerves (my horse is bigger than urs - thing or as in Mbhai we call it 'meri laal'). Dadhes won't tolerate that - like grandada would say - 'Ashil Tujhya Gharcha' (whoever you think you are, are at your house, not in my face).
Androgyny and Moss got on to me in the most 'I can't tolerate you, so why don't you go brain-leak somewhere else' way. As mentioned above. It came after Androgyny purposefully interrupted a conversation with my colleague! i understand he likes being the center of attention and we all do give his 'la di daa' ways.
I don't have anything against a man who behaves like a woman born with stilettos - i have a problem with a man who is a woman in the head. For god's sake which 'man' worth his penny prances in an inner alley in Mahim, with blue aviator shades and a carton of Lassi at 2:00pm? Whom are you giving attitude - the Muslim Cafe Azad boys, the six bucks sandwich wala or the pan bidi seller?
He was asking to be mocked at - his U-ASS gyaan and his chick parties and his cousin's sex life... freak - why would I want to know about all this and his super Tuesday (I haven't a clue what it is and why it is called so) when i am clarifying an important misconception with a colleague. We all have 'I am above the sundry mere mortals' attitude but we do know where to throw it.
And I am so turned off with his use of Persian language and script everywhere (his hangover does not go... be it the chat tag or sticking up things on peoples cubes) - bottom line we are not on talking terms coz he doesn't like being mocked at and he won't 'get over himself'. I am relieved, Demeter liked him so much that i could never turn to voice what I felt! Now i am at the liberty of not being nice coz the people i like, like them.
Actually Androgyne is alright and all but some people are not just 'the long run people'; and what is the point in surrounding oneself with passing faces? Yes, I know I am unjustly critical and overly judgmental. Frankly, I am just bored of him and i don't wish to bother myself with himself anymore. Yup, That's it - and in the true Dadhe tradition 'how does it matter to me if you exist, darling? And when it doesn't matter, why spent my energy on you?
* this post is a strict ventilator for saturated frustration.
