I hate men, do I?

With multiple posts stating my 'low' opinion of men, in general. I found many of my blog readers acknowledge that I sound like a man eater/man hater. It all started when '2 weeks of freedom' (a post on him will follow soon), said MG sounded like a dike blog. Now, that was an insult beyond comprehension for someone who studied sexuality. My only rescue was I DON'T .

After a chat with Sunshine, I introspected, then realized that I do write my mind, and my mind has some really strong opinions. The second conclusion is that people who read my blog do not read it properly, either the glance through the words or they dissect it syllable by syllable.

Another aspect is from the first point of contention - I'm surrounded by men, they have been a vital part of my life they are my dad, brothers, brothers-in-law, friends, the loves of my life and et al. My women friends are my soul, but when women meet, they talk about the most vital aspects of their life - which are MEN.

Coming back to do I hate men. I don't think so... here's something that I like about men :
~ They have the innate ability to come to your rescue at any hour, any situation.
~ They can hold a decent conversation about almost anything - from technology to movies.
~ Their levels of patience and determination are enviable. Be it a pet project or a woman; they simply go for it.
~ Most of my friends can be gender neutral and courteous at the same time.
~ They do not have deadlines and will drop you at any hour any where you want.
~ They listen.
~ They have solutions.... which is a big PLUS.
~ If they are your friends, they will not be your enemies.
~ They are great at bitching, pulling leg, and cutting friends to size without being remotely offensive.
~ They are amazing shopping companions. They help you focus, and save time.
~ They are the best beer pals to have.
~ They are very sporty and very accommodating bowling partners.
~ They don't care if you are dressed for the occasion, they are just happy that you turned up!   

The Metrosexual man carries a Lip balm, a Nail file and a hand sanitizer with him all the time; mind you he is stick straight, and looks like a stuffed baboon. He is, by far, the cleanest man I know.

The Best man and I scout for interesting food joints across the city. And he's willing to sit at an Irani joint in his business clothes.

The Drama King is a my best escort into anything, be it a long chats, a drive, be it wine, be it dinner, be it gymning. He's had me screaming at him, clawing him into getting my way and being very accommodating with his - 'Mademoiselle, we should go there, we should do this....' Btw, the man is a walking gift store; and ranks high amongst the most generous men in my life.

The Oyster Seeker is a phenomenal friend, and an ever evolving man. With 'men don't shave' machismo, the man has gone on to get this torso and arms waxed - only to acknowledge; K, it feels great! He also has the finest table manners, I seek for in a man.


The Capricorn Rook is also amongst the 3 men I know, apart from hajaar women who, check the Loo of the place, before taking it up.

The Chameleon who is a lost puppy in a Mall or a salon. He's most vulnerable during a clean-up, and most confident during a fight.   

Do I hate men, I do, parts of them, and their conditioning of masculinity. But there is so much I love about them too.

Voyeurism, Men & LSD

A lot of us loved Love Sex Aur Dhoka. A part of me did too; however, a part of me was disgusted, stirred and shocked beyond my fragile competence.

To paint a picture: I saw this movie at the behest of Oyster Seeker. I was with one of the safest, coolest dudes I know. But I was still insecure, by the midst of the second story (SEX). Usually all chatty and funny, I had my hands and feet tightly crossed; as if I was holding liters of urine or grabbing tight my sense of self.

The only question reeling in my head was ‘how could someone do such a thing?’ The very next thought was that ‘only a man could do such a thing’. My general opinion of men is very low, women is even lower. Men disgust me; they are filthy and juvenile – in their minds, their bodies, their languages, their attitudes, their habits… the term Lech was invented for their forever hungry eyes. What scares me the most is their ability to turn something beautiful into something so disgusting, that it’d stay in your system and give you shivers. LSD gave me shivers. I ached for some sanity, and Oyster Seeker’s ‘it’s just a film, k’ did not help. For him, I was overreacting, I was not being sporty, I was being a pain in the wrong place by condemning his penile species.

But I do hate men. Anyway, there is very little about them to like.

Fortnight later, {when I got over the film; and my nightmares of all the men in my life doing horrifying things to my image had finally stopped,} I consciously pondered on what this three part film was all about.

I concluded that it was about a person within that we seemed to entertain once in a while. Like Oyster Seeker’s indulgent ‘shopaholic’, Chameleon’s ‘sleaze ball’, Loud mouth’s ‘cruel tyrant’… We all have a liar, a cheat, a thief, a slave and a voyeur within us. Just as we have a savior, a friend, a shoulder, and a saint within us. Problem is that the voyeur feeds on titillation, and our minds are great at creating carrots for donkeys. The media lusts over violence, patriotic movies vicariously make you dream of bombing your neighboring country. Inventors make you yearn to pick up that ‘up-on-the-market-only-for- you-piece’; you ogle and ogle at the mannequins on the window sill or sneak a peek at the latest gadget on the net.

However Sexual titillation is everyone’s all time favorite. Be it imagining a bikini clad woman in a burqua or guessing some passer-by’s bra size or watching porn or someone’s intimate act of love making/kissing.

My problem is that we never say ‘no’ to this titillation, we never refuse to have the dirt of nude pictures, clips or genital jokes. My bigger problem is that (as men are the fore runners of this filth) I am yet to find a man who takes offence to all or any of the above in the privacy of this back slapping, bluetoothed friend circle.