Friends with Benefits

Come to think of it, I feel like a conservative. Sex on my mind, my previous post was received quite well. Contrary to reader's opinions of my ability and clarity, I had claimed my fox-hole, was prepared for eye rolls and acute dismissals of my moral standards. None of it has happened. I am still receiving mails and many of them are from women, who are bang-on to the point of what they like in the post, what they disapprove and how they'd go about their sex lives.

A kind lady insisted that I write on the lines of sex and the city; problem is, I am quite inept at that. I do not fully understand, though have a grasp of it, as to how we are evolving as socio-sexual beings. Plus, I have to yet give up on the opposite sex; my only reason not to (give up on them) is because they are my friends. And my friends are nearly everything I need, admire and love in my life. The men in my life are dear to me; and the fact that at some point we chose each other, gives me hope that my choice in the 'partner of my life' won't be sucky.
 
But why not choose from them, if I believe that they have it all? Well, the girl in a poncho asked this question. My reply was simple, I love them as people but I have no desire to get to know their 'lover' side. Why? Its incomprehensible. Psychological digging got me to unearth my friends, when I was a kid. Mostly boys, and how my mum never really made any differentiation btw the genders. She'd be inviting and chatty without any inhibitions, she never made me realize that all the people that came for my birthdays or I fought with or played with were boys. She would gladly tell people that 'oh, he's been my daughter's friend since she was eight!' Point is, their gender was a matter-of-fact, so when I first told my mum about 'the boy i like', she wasn't surprised that he was not from the gang.

Friends with benefits are great! And sometimes it is an amazing way of discovering another person; but it is an each-to-his-own decision. I need to see the man in a different light, and I know my friends too well - we may just crack up; call it a bad idea and go for a beer... laughing all the way at us being so desperate. Nonetheless, that is I, it may work for you; so do not let my judgement color yours. Also, I believe in the old adage, that 'sex changes everything'. When it comes to the people you love, know, discuss your plans with, consult, cuss and will call in all emergencies - it changes everything. In the least, for me.

That apart, we are different people as friends and different as partners or lovers. Mixing the two is quite a lethal combination - may work or make just kill the whole thing. Am sure you have many stories of lovers gone sour? I too have my tales of friends becoming lovers and lovers going sour - what you will be left with is an emotional drainage. It's a risk that you will have to judge for yourself and take.

However, the catch is to make it work. If you can - fantaboulous. I do not have that kind of intelligence. So when it comes to me, the only benefit I have with a friend is that he/she is my friend.

Surviving through the dark night.

My Knight was asleep, I knocked at this mind, but the labor of daylight, rests his body and sooths his mind into REM. K in bated breath, battled her mind and shot two arrows with a comfort that they would reach and be felt when the time was right.

~ Sleep wont arrive anywhere close to me. A little breeze slips through the curtains and feeds it secretly. I lay awake, silent, starving for warmth and slumber. And you, my dear, lie in peace, dreaming quaint dreams in borrowed cold air. While I shiver in woolen socks. Tis is not fair.

~ The hours are passing slower than the minutes I spend with you. I look out of my window, into a lonely street, now at peace, in remains of cracker wrappers for bed cover. In some waters nearby; the elephant headed, pot bellied god with his rat are gratefully dissolving. Here, I stand, filled with thoughts to my gray brim, yet parched. The WorldWideWeb offers many strangers with familiar faces, alas none that I can share my insomnia with. Their clamor resonates a loud song of daylight. And I have a wooden cuckoo for company, she peeks out at intervals, reminding me that I too exist. Time travels unfairly putting parts of the world to sleep and the rest wide awake.

'just like that' Gyaan

These are some of k's newest realizations.

# The funny part of being an overtly and inertly emotional freak is that passion and depression are forces that come uninvited.

# Passion lives in the temple of Venus. The Venus woman asks questions, bends the norms and is cursed by Hera, so that nice men with common sense do not excite her.

# “If you love someone, you must be unselfish enough to give them what they want.” - Pierce Brosnon from some film.

# Lovemaking is not over rated. We are in dire need of Kamasutra schools.

# Conversation between Radha (Eunuch) during a Movie scene :
 K: Babes, what is the whole funda behind a eunuchs’ clap? Do you practice it?

Radha: (laughing) : Arre, clapping is fun, and yes there is a technique. Par, the best part of the clap is that it instills fear; it scares the lukhas, the mamus and the chokras. It is the only language they understand. The clap is the sound of us – sharp, yet accommodating. It means that if need be – I can protest. Par, this is the way I choose to live.

# Capricorn Rook quoted someone from somewhere “we are scavengers looking for scraps of fulfillment.”

# A drunken Venus woman breaks up with her forlorn lover. 72 hours later, she climbs down her pedestal of respect and calls her lover, who responds, “At CCI, in a meeting, will call you back.”
Pragmatism sucks. Btw the mountain and the valley, K shall one day climb across the mountain.

# Conversation btw K and Mitsu
K: Why don’t you move on, you divorced him three years ago!
Mitsu : There is so much love that I am numbed by the constant pain that I feel. I do not think of things, they live in me. I see him in every man; any man I love will be in his image. Will have his flaws, will make my head fly. I need him not, but I am not over him. I keep thinking of how it would be if we’d never met, and how would it be if we’d never have parted.
K: Love is a poison; it runs in your skin, your breath and your blood. It’s like the dead baby’s ghost that hangs by the umbilical around your throat.
Mitsu: (Laughing) you know, kit, never stop writing.
You were right then, God, I should have shot him!