Tryst

Now this post may seem absolutely random, and maybe it is.

I have discovered that the urge to be free is most paramount in man, followed by the urge to make history (power, immortality). However, the uncertainty of what lies behind the change dictates this leap. It may bring fortune or misery, and thus sometimes it's better to patiently serve in Heaven than rule in Hell. And more often than not, our preparation and our attitude to the change dictates the course of fortune.

Time is often right when the mind is prepared, and when the time is right the word on the scrabble board spells itself.

I await that moment.

This Bullshit Called Love

While chatting to Wasabi today, I felt a need to defend my belief in love. And for the weirdest reason I did. Later in the day, I spoke to Torch and she went on a trip telling me about the 'reality behind looovvve'. I am a pragmatic but suddenly the disbelief made me want to reiterate - and as I did, she shot back vehemently, " Love talk coming from someone who hasn't fallen seriously in love or found true love?! K you are such a sham! Why don't you fill those feather shoes you advocate so much?"

We were short of laughing at my predicament and before pinning the final bubble on the bubble wrap of my love life, she claimed - "What is this bullshit called love anyway? Get into a bed darling, its about time you did - that's where all the love is!" Apart from her 'successful one-night-stand' jokes; Torch follows super mart love, that comes with a 'definite expiry date'. "Who has the time? And I get all the action I need". She bought Pepper to dissolve her need for a companion - "Just two women. We are so in harmony, we even bleed on the same date!" I like to see the way this girl and her bitch bond - almost like soul mates. But in the colored corner of my mind; I want her to be with someone.

How can one disillusion a disillusioned lover? Why when a spell broken can not be worked back? Here's to Wasabi and Torch:

Love what do I do with you?
Sometimes you are just a leftover morsel from the alphabet.
Sometimes you are more intense than the word eternity.
Sometimes a synonym to hate.
Sometimes the drabness of an overused wash cloth.
Sometimes you are the space that fills I and You
and at times you become a distance between Us and Them.

Your multiple forms confuse me -
the wild wind,
the cruel mirage
the glass mannequin
Cold droplets of rain
the black speck in a brown eye
the caramel on a stale pie

My dear how can i tell the world
that you are the hope of a blind eye
the warmth in a comforting curve
the strength in a finger
the passion of a hungry claw
the silence in surrender
the dust on a forgotten Urn

How my friend can I contradict
that you are the knock on a deaf man's door
that you are the power trapped in a diamond
that you are the blood spilled in a miscarriage
that you are the cyst in a cheated woman's eye
that you are a tourist walking dreamily in the

abandoned lanes of human habitat
that loftiness in poesy is courtesy you.

How do I glean these leftover paradoxes to make a collage?

How can I make people fall in love with you, love?

- Child mom said something very sweet :) (a bear hug is on your way), after my blabber on losing hope in love - "Love my darling is quietly placing a comforter over the sleeping shadow. And K, chill, you have brought a million comforters for us - he will take care of yours!"

Inshallah!

testing, testing...

I am being challenged and I am smiling. This does not happen often: it is not everyday that my faith put to test (apart from the seat in the train compartment and the auto rickshaw). I lost my most loved and valued Amishi clutch (similar to the above one but in black and without diamonds of course) on a crowded street in Borivali. The problem is that it's one of a kind and super expensive; even though it looks simple (by the price standards)... all that is pointless- i loved it and very much!
-----------I misplaced it, searched for it but did not find it- however i have faith that it will come back to me. In fact that was my first statement when mom panicked- “someone will find it and call me and return it.” and i had no doubts about that. it sprang form the belief - treat others the way u want to be treated- I know i would return if i found a wallet of a person... i would call and meet and receive thank you. I know many people who would do the same.
---------All that apart, I love it too much for anyone else to have it! It is on its way and is coming back to me.... period.

Those Girls!

I want to know the girls whose fairy tales come true. Meet the ones who got married to school sweethearts. Stay with all the ‘we fell in love against our parents wish’ happy couples. I want to see how genuinely happy they are!

Some people are plain lucky- like the wise capitalist- she found her bull to matador. There wasn’t any serious opposition and I won’t call them perfect: their's is a stock market love affair. Fairy tale for some and an ‘I haven’t a clue’ for others. Apart from her, I don’t know a happy couple who has lived a cherry on the cake marriage.Beach boy’s parents had a love marriage and are happy: he says so. Rest of the bunch is separating, getting divorced or gotten divorced.

Child mom made an emphatic statement, “It’s because of the egos’, everybody is equal so no ones ready to bend.” Maybe; no one wants to walk the rocky road with foot sores- we just want everything for the better- not worse.

Q: In the age of multiple choices and Hubble’, can a Katherine have a happily ever after?

Fruity’s getting engaged and her college lover boy will turn fiancé in a month and a half. She has a theatrical story to narrate to her kids.When I heard of it; I had the jitters. (chicken me) My 1st Q was ‘WOW, how did she manage to stay in the glass palace and not get caught or be judged. Did it never occur to her that she was going to be ripped apart by the 1st row critics in the fashion show?’

Wise capitalist says if it’s any solace; tell her I have been there! The charm and the confidence with which she dismissed that judgement is admirable.

Would her marriage be the fairytale it looks to me, from my coveted single corner? I know I would be alive to see the ‘big changes’ but I pray that it does remain a dream she conceived.

Not only because I need to believe but also because it’s calming to have someone you love, to love you back in your menopausal 50’s. Love then is a luxury that most people sold out too cheap.

Go Fruity, be that girl!