Atrophied Brain

or should I call it numb skull or silent degeneration of all intellectual faculties? I do not know. 'Unsure' seems to be my favorite word. It's not a word that I like - however, it is a 'safe' word. Just like the word 'slave or addict' - it's usage automatically shifts the burden of responsibility and after math on to the perpetrator.

Language seems bizarre to me now - it's a feeling that occurs from an excessive high or from passive nothingness.

On a different note, K had a decent discussion with Wasabi few days ago, related to ideology and politics. Capitalism definitely gets brownie points from both of them but an inflexible stand on the same somewhere pinches her. It's not mandatory to be like grass but is it not better to be open to ideas? And it seemed too demanding for the otherwise open - minded Wasabi. (For a very ridiculous reason K quoted Tom Ford while discussing character balance, stereotypes and prejudice complex with him.) However what K found incredibly juvenile, was Wasabi's interest in sexual experimentation, although he sounded pretty averse to the same - but a talk to that seemed to satisfy some part of his voyeur self.

Day 2, K received a scarp by Wasabi's friend on her 'thanking her god', and he promptly remarked that Richard Dwakins would be unhappy! People who've read his work have often confirmed themselves as atheists. K reverted that she was unable to bow down to some one's line of thought. She had finally found a way and words to appropriate her thoughts. K had silently stood by herself against propagators of Eliot's Individual talent and she would not bend to this ethologist's delusion of god.

What K realized in this entire dialogue was a certain amount of comfort that people seek in propagated ideas. Dichotomies can not exist claims Rand, K agrees with her. However, when you check your premise, you know that knowledge is not in 'this vs that' it's often in the existence of multiples. You choose your path only after that awareness.

Wasabi has chosen his, and K still lives with Dr. Faust's greed. Choosing, seems to bind her into intellectual loyalty whose destination is intellectual slavery.

For now, if wind, earth, fire, water can co-exist, then so can god, devil, Darwin's monkey and Dwakins!

.....

The bitch does not bark anymore, she whimpers

bursting the seams

K suddenly feels FAT. Maybe because she is!

Not funny!

I seriously lack a sense of humor - I simply do not like the kind of jokes people laugh at. Be it ghastly plumber/sardar Pjs or be it the self-serving ones. I am just not indulgent enough. I guess that is my problem.

This one is just another, sent by the Babel fish -

"Vijay's dad was killed by the villain, and his mother needs an operation ! So he sells his land for his mother ! In order to take revenge, Vijay (Villu) has to go to America to kill the villain, but he has no money, no passport and no visa! So he decides one thing and comes to Chennai !


In Chennai, Villu climbs on top of LIC Building , gets blessings from Goddess Kuruvi, and jumps from the top floor!!!

But our Villu stays in air itself in same position! After 12 hrs, the earth rotates and since he is still in the same position, he jumps and lands in America ! He kills the villain and returns to Chennai the same way!!!!"

In the Vicinity of God

I miss him - when devils crawl around me, I miss him.

When I am in the midst of the foulest mental mists, I miss him.

When it hurts to love and hurts even more to say sorry, I miss him.

I miss him so, because when he is near I can hold him through. Look into his eyes and know that the world's just going to set itself right.

- For the Oyster Seeker, whose hugs come second closest to the assurances of god.

Bumped Into....

An ex-colleague's Google talk status - " Some people have no capacity for emotions - Love or Hate". Coming from her it read so frightfully honest.

From The Gutters Of A Prolixious Mind

They are only a battery of letters put together. Sometimes they are words. Rarely do they breathe. It's an achievement to hear them mean what they so didactically were born to model.

In the disjointedness of K's mind, tongue, typing and language - she sounds rather circumlocutory. Hurtling through the pages to find the right word, regurgitating it onto the keyboard and fleeing again in the search of new meaning.


New entrants have joined the Orcs -

Cruciverbalism - was summoned during boy watching. He had mocked at her lit degree from a native college and a namesake university. A part of the crossword club, eloquent in his lexicon - he did not know its meaning. What K received was a 'UH?'and cheap joys of humiliation.

Aqueous - found on a blog. Have been preparing it for an unusual assignment. Say 'searching for truth in an aqueous history.' Naaah! :(


Swill - that's what K calls her work. It's wet and it's a collage born out of waste!

Feint - born from Krishna's head, was for a colleague.

Drone - It is this particular white noise that K would like to fill her head with.

Geriatric - 'Geriatric mind' was used for the first time for the septuagenarians, K suffers each day.


Soundlessly K's fragile cognizance cracks under the consistent flow of inebriated letters.

They take a halt. Make a camp. Breath, watch and K simply smiles.

Another journey begins...

smell of vacancy

An empty room, a suitcase in the process of being filled.

OR

A desolate mind, a cold road, a funny joke, an alive lover - an impossible love story.

Sometimes, when things are just too perfect - life makes you peek into a small ventilator and what you see.....